Ontem postamos dois pequenos videos de coleção de dvd`s em nosso vlog de
seriados. Até aí nada. Mas em um deles, a Tati fez um comentário rápido e despretensioso assim
que mostrou o dvd de um filme chamado 25th, cujo o protagonista é vivido pelo
Edward Norton. Lembrei imediatamente e fiquei com aquilo na cabeça.
Ela
se referiu a um discurso espetacular que o cara faz em um determinado momento. Para
mim, ao ver Norton disparar sua metralhadora giratória, foi difícil não
associar a cena com aquela clássica de Robert de Niro em frente ao espelho, no
aclamado e espetacular Taxi Drive. Se lembram do famoso “Are you talking to
me?”
Como
sempre achei o cara fodástico e o tal texto também sensacional, pensei em
dividir com vocês. Vai que não conhecem, né? E quem não conhece está perdendo,
isso eu garanto.
Apenas
me desculpem os que não entendem inglês, mas “in casu”, mais do que o normal, o
ritmo é fundamental e achei que ele ficaria deveras comprometido na tradução. Além
disso, é coalhado de referências, regionalismos e aborda idiossincrasias que
talvez se perdessem um pouco ao transporta-lo para o português. Mas a
especialista aqui é a Tati, posso estar equivocado. De qualquer maneira, vai no
original mesmo.
Segurem
o petardo aí, porque é “tempo ruim o tempo inteiro”. E me desculpem, mas " Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers" é GENIAL!!!!!
No, Fuck You
(written by David Benioff, from his novel)
(Monty walks into the bathroom. He looks in the
mirror. In the bottom corner, someone's written Fuck You!)
Monty: Yeah, fuck you, too.
Monty's Reflection: Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and
this whole city and everyone in it.
Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money,
and smiling at me behind my back.
Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean
windshield of my car. Get a fucking job!
Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis
bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and
stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down!
Fuck
the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on
each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel
35.
Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their
tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky
English?
Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés,
sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and
dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from!
Fuck the
black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty
gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!
Fuck
the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas,
Gordon Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working
people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think
Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco!
Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom!
Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up
the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me
started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look
good.
Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon
warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi,
Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos.
Fuck the
Upper East Side wives with their Hermés scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci
artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and
shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!
Fuck the uptown brothers. They
never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on
every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame
everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years
ago. Move the fuck on!
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers
and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our
trust!
Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants.
Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're
at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all
the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin
Otisville, Jay!
Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Alqueda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling,
fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands
murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores
roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss
my royal, Irish ass!
Fuck Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent.
Fuck Francis
Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my
girlfriend's ass.
Fuck Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me
in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.
Fuck my father with his
endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey
to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
Fuck this whole city and everyone in
it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the
projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City
to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an
earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fuckin ash then let
the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place.
Monty: No. No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it
all and then you threw it away, you dumb fuck!
(He takes a breath and tries to
rub away the words.)
__________________________
bite me
Tá, agora vejam o Edward chutar bundas em uma das melhores atuações de sua vida e sejam felizes. E por favor, nesse processo, não negligenciem a trilha sonora durante a cena, pois é ela é perfeita.
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